The Less You Eat The Skinnier You Get Myth

The less You Eat the Skinnier You Will Get Myth

Every time I hear one of my clients say to me how many meals they eat, (which ends up being 2 or 3 meals a day) I feel like having a giant big red button that sends off alarm bells! I ask, why don’t you eat more meals throughout the day ?” and the usual reply is always: “I don’t want to get fat.” This day and age, we are living in a society where children and even adults are not educated on how they should be eating and how many calories or portion sizes they are allowed to have. They say to lose weight, you should be eating 1200 calories in order to drop the weight. I hereby say that, that is incorrect. It all depends on your MACROS! Every single person has a different height and weight and based on their metabolic rate, is how you calculate how much you should be eating as well as what training you are doing.

Eating less does not create the need to burn body fat. Instead, it creates the need for the body to slow down. Contrary to popular opinion, the body hangs on to body fat. Instead, it burns muscle tissue, and that worsens the underlying cause of obesity. Only as a last resort, if the body has no other option, it may also burn a bit of body fat. ONLY A BIT!

Repeat after me, the less you eat, the more your metabolism slows down.

Why does the body hang on to body fat and burn muscle? To answer that question, let’s look at it another way.

What does our metabolism want more of when it thinks we are starving? Stored energy.

What is a great source of stored energy? Body fat.

So when our metabolism thinks we are starving, does it want to get rid of or hold on to body fat? It wants to hold on.

Next, what does our metabolism want less of when we are starving? It wants less tissue (which burns a lot of calories). What type of tissue burns a lot of calories? Muscle tissue. So when our metabolism thinks we are starving, it gets rid of calorie-hungry muscle tissue. Studies show that up to 70% of the weight lost while eating less comes from burning muscle—not body fat!

Burning all this muscle means that starving ourselves leads to more body fat—not less—over the long term. As soon as we stop starving ourselves, we have all the calories we used to have but need less of them, thanks to all that missing muscle and our slowed-down metabolism. Now our metabolism sees eating a normal amount as overeating and creates new body fat.

alk about side effects. Eating less was worse than doing nothing.

Why?

After our metabolism is starved, its number one priority is restoring all the body fat it lost and then protecting us from starving in the future. Guess how it does that? By storing additional body fat. Researchers call this “fat super accumulation.” From researcher E.A. Young at the University of Texas: “These and other studies…strongly suggest that fat super accumulation…after energy restriction is a major factor contributing to relapsing obesity, so often observed in humans.”

The most disturbing aspect of fat super accumulation is that it does not require us to eat a lot. All we have to do is go back to eating a normal amount. The Eat Less Group in the study gained a massive amount of body fat quickly while eating the same amount as the Normal Group and the Skinny Group. The metabolism was trying to make up for the past losses.

There is another reason: eating less slowed the metabolism. Put the same quantity and quality of food and exercise into a slowed-down fat metabolism system, and out comes more body fat.

At the end of the day, we are being given numerous of different opinions from each individual and what their intake is on “what’s healthy.” I ask you this: What is diet? Why do we need to follow a diet, to eat right? What is classified the right diet for everyone? As each individual is different, we all have different body shapes as well as different lifestyles. It is finding the RIGHT balance that is suitable to us. My eating plan is completely different to an athletic male, or someone who is shaped differently to myself and is a lot taller than me. Seek advice from a nutritionist, or follow set guidelines your trainer has given you.

Listen to your body and don’t starve yourself to lose weight. Start educating yourself and become a better you!

Tamara Meyer

My 100 Days of Happiness

My 100 days of Happiness

Towards the end of 2013, I had everything planned out for my new year of 2014. I had everything planned out. I was focused on being successful in my career as a performer, I had auditioned for a school touring company that would have me working a whole year travelling around Australia, performing at different schools. It was down to me and another girl and I was overly confident that I had the role. Sadly the cards weren’t in my favour and the position was given to someone else.

 

HAWAII 2014

When you plan your life to a tea and life doesn’t go the way you thought it would, well that’s exactly what had happened to me.

My life has always been anything but perfect. I have lived through a lot of experiences, some traumatic and some where I would enjoy sharing everything to all my closest gfs over coffee. If you ever heard of things happening in three’s well that’s exactly what happened to me at the end of 2013.

After not receiving the job I wanted, I had also had my car defected, costing me a whole lot of debt after $3000 of repairs.

Do you think it stopped there? Sadly not, I had then found out that my uncle in Brasil had past away with liver cancer, leaving my mother in bad conditions, finding different types of religion to help her with her grief, whilst my dad had relapsed his gambling addictions.

It had hit me that, 2013 had ended unexpectedly, I have always been a positive, bubbly, happy person. If you ask anyone who knows me, they would always say that I am someone that always lifts up peoples moods, I have a warm, friendly aura and I loved helping others.

 I found myself lost, not knowing what my life had in store for me, I felt like I had no direction in where I wanted to go. I kept asking myself, ‘What do I do now?’ Where do I go from here? I was in a dark, deep place and I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. I had everything going for me, yet still I found myself feeling low and worse about myself.

I am a visual person. I learn visually, and by displaying things on my wall or on my social media page, instagram and my blog page, I believe that what you think, is what you attract, especially if that image is right in front of you.

2014 had started, I had set my goals, was working hard, had started back my training program and working at the best gym possible. I still had that lost sensation feeling. I found myself flicking through Facebook, when I saw someone post something about: ‘100 days of happiness’ I clicked into the website and the first thing I saw was a bright yellow screen pop up, with the words in big bold black letters, 100 Days of Happiness Challenge! It immediately caught my attention. All it was; was that everyday for 100 days, you had to post a photo of something that makes you happy. It had also said only 29% of the population were able to complete this.

I had found my new challenge. You may think this is easy, but 100 days OF HAPPINESS, can be quite tricky. Especially if you want to get creative with it. Luckily for me, my day to day life, is never dull and I wanted to share with the world, what my 100 days of happiness is like.

Slowly, I had my first photo for my 100 days of happiness. My favourite place- the beach, sunny, sand, water- I was just completely at peace.

Each day was something different. Tricks I had up my sleeves, people I had met, auditions I had attended, people that I had helped and slowly people started to notice what I was doing and other people started to get into it.

You may ask, why was I doing this? What was the point? Without me realising it, but I had started to set myself up each day for a new challenge, to stay positive and find happiness in my life and it was all around. It didn’t mean that I was always a HAPPY person. NO not at all, there were so many moments where I had, had the worst day possible, I had found a lowness in me, then out of nowhere, I would strike up a conversation with someone, or have my students give me a compliment that I was an inspiration, or I had people coming to me for advice, or thank me for just making their day by staying positive. I realised I was starting to impact others around me, without even realising it.

I had learnt, through this experience that, life is never easy. You can go through hell and back, have family problems, money issues, relationship problems, yet there is so much goodness and beauty still around us. The simple things in life can make a difference to not just one individual, but the world.

I had documented my life, through images of one day at a time, which made people learn more about me as a person and also helping me find my way, and finding happiness in my life.

.I think this simple concept, can help so many people. Just because your setting your mind to think positively. It makes you go, ‘Yeah that coffee date with my friend, really uplifted me.’

Or, ‘Work brought me a cake today for working so hard’ small, kind gestures, but to that individual, mean the world to them.

Coming towards the last week of my 100 days of happiness, I had started to think; Wow what am I going to do for my 100th day!?!?!
It had to end with something amazing, I just couldn't think what.
I had previously last year, booked a sky diving experience for myself and my house mate Holly for her birthday. When we got there, the weather was SHOCKING and we since then hadn't been. Coming to May, I rang the place up, booked a date on for the 18th May which fell on a Sunday.
A few days past and it hit me all of the sudden. Hang on a second. I checked my calendar and counted what day my 100th day fell on.

18th May...
The day I booked sky diving.!!! WHAT A CRAZY COINCIDENCE.

I look back on that day, the day was beautiful. I was jumping off a plane on my 100th day. To be honest, when that moment happened, when I finally just let go of everything and let my instructor take control and push me off the plane, I felt free. It felt like the whole world had stopped. I was in absolute peace and soaked in the most beautiful view I had ever experienced.
After that moment, I felt like nothing ever would scare me anymore. I want to do so much now. I want to visit so many places, meet people, help third world countries, inspire people around me and just live life to its fullest.


To everyone out there: I challenged myself with my 100 days of happiness. Some people supported me, some people laughed, some people learnt so much from it, others were inspired. However people felt towards it, I am glad I accomplished it and I am happy that I was able to share my story with you.
I hope to touch other people's lives by all my other crazy adventures or life lessons I have learned. Because this is only the beginning of all my wild stories.

Love Tam

Tamara Meyer

KARMA

KARMA

As the famous JT song – ‘What goes around comes around’ lyrics spin in my head, I felt that I owe you all the right to share you a few of my karma moments I have had in the past and how I strongly believe in K – A – R – M – A.

How often have you had something bad happen to you or someone has done something to hurt you and all you’ve wanted to do is get even and act out in revenge!
I have on numerous occasions! To the point where I have even recently wished karma and something bad to happen to someone that so specific that it ended up happening. (guilty) Didn’t mean for it to happen and I don’t think I have any special powers to inflict pain to someone BUT the amount of times I have done something wrong, in the end, it always comes back to bite me in the ass.

Don’t believe me?

Well let me tell you of what young Tam was like back in the day.

Growing up as a teenager, I thought I was pretty cool. I was never a bully. I was the funny, popular, weird girl who got along with everyone. I was confident in always making new friends as I was ALWAYS changing schools due to my dad’s work situation.

I never had enemies, or was rarely hated by people, but I can say that I didn’t particularly like one girl in my school. Many didn’t, particularly like Anna; she had the reputation of being a slurry. (slut in a hurry) which is what we used to call her. Sadly, because everyone else didn’t like her for her behaviour, I didn’t like her either. She wasn’t a bad person; she did shifty stuff, but wasn’t intentionally ever trying to hurt me. Until we both realised we never liked each other. We did petty little things to each other but because I was the “cool” girl, I always seemed to have everyone on my side.

We graduated high school, we both grew up and whenever we both saw each other out, we would exchange in small talk.

One night, as my best friends brother was having his 21^st, Anna was there as was her boyfriend, all our friends and I.

A week or two ago, I had hung out with her boyfriend and had stayed at his house in the spare room as I somehow lost all my friends out in the city.

Anna approached me about it and asked if anything ever happened, I told her the truth and told her I just needed somewhere to crash.

The bad thing was, Anna never knew this and a lot of problems went down. She was shocked yet appreciated that I told her the truth.

Within minutes, I had gone to leave and I felt a hand grab the back of my neck and Anna had started to punch me in the face. Both of us were at each other and then hell went lose.

After that, I always had the fear of seeing her. On numerous occasions I did. We would be out and she would spit on me and say hurtful things and I eventually started to become scared of her.

3- 4 years later, I look back on the events that had occurred. Was this karma getting me back, for my high school days? Surely not?

To be honest, I truly believe it did. I was never one to hurt someone physically but words can be just as harsh as throwing a punch at someone. I believe I deserved that, I never made moves on her man but I wasn’t a nice person to her in my young years.

That was a HUGE lesson learned for me as I also started to become wary of saying anything harsh or upsetting to anyone anymore. I didn’t want to be a bitchy person, or hurt people. This incident taught me to be more honest and to not do wrong to others, or cheat your way through life.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had SO MUCH bad stuff happen to me, people have hurt me beyond the way you can imagine, the best thing I have learned is, rather than lowering yourself to that person, or react to how others would- by doing something back to them. My advice is simple.

FORGIVE

FORGET

AND LET IT GO

How often do we still hold onto the past, or what someone has done to us? What’s the point of staying mad when you create so much tension in your life by doing so?

Be the better person, focus on yourself. Let KARMA do its toll because in the end, no one gets away by doing bad things.

Eventually… what goes around WILL COME AROUND.

Tam x

Refresh, Recharge, RESTART

"Why God, WHY do you do this to me, ABOVE ALL THINGS?!" Looking at my, once again flat tyre, and noticing that my other tyre in the boot had also been flat.. "Life sucks balls."
Has anyone found themselves, cursing to God or to the world, one too many times?
Yep I am for one guilty of that. Literally happened about 10 days ago.
I had cracked.

For about 9 weeks since the end of Australia Day, I vowed to stop drinking for 2 months (till April). I went on a new plan, strict counting calories for 9 weeks, WHILST training at the gym 6days a week. I was ready for it, if anything more determined and motivated then last year. I had a Personal Trainer - Jeff, training me 6 days a week, a training partner- Kate and also my mentor- Damien who was there to keep me in line and focused. I know when I put my heart and soul into something, nothing can stop me.

During this period, I was also working (no joke) everyday of the week. I was saving my money for Hawaii, I had old debts to pay, college to pay (which I was also attending 3 times a week), whilst teaching one night a week, going to vocal coach training every Wednesday, doing Nickelodeon shows every so often, attending one-off rehearsals PLUS working at Box HQ.
Funny thing is, I love being busy. Too much- sometimes i purposely kept myself busy and I think it was so I didn't have time to think of other dramas. Every human being has life dramas, some more than others and in the years I have learned to deal with them quite effectively.

First few weeks I was hyped! Kate and I had so much energy because we were excited of our goals, we wanted to work hard, train hard, look good and above all motivate each other with everything.
Slowly in those 9 weeks you could see such a wave of change. I've learned in these 9 weeks that we are not super human. We are HUMAN- I was so eager to do everything in 9 weeks that I was slowly starting to fade away and turn into a emotional mess. I mean who wouldn't? Doing a million things without resting is nearly impossible.

I remember one morning, I was overcoming the flu, I had taken some pre workout stuff, a cold and flu tablet and was at the gym training. Th next thing that happened, i started to completely shake from head to toe, couldn't breathe and I was lying on the ground in fetal position. My body wasn't coping with being sick, stressed and doing too much.
Though on a positive note, I still stuck to my diet, I was capable juggling everything, week 4 and 5 became easy.
Then life dramas happen. In reality, I think everyone has their days. You have your moment of self-doubt, you start questioning yourself of everything and then you get into a complete low mind-set. I was convinced that in the 9 weeks, where I had worked my butt off, I had been exactly where I had started.

It came to one weekend, the week before Hawaii. I had adjudicated for 2 whole weekends. Each day was 10 hour days- I made very good money, I was exhausted yet, extremely happy that I was judging such talented kids in dancing. These little moments gave me a high- pushed me further. I was even listening to a lot of Eric Thomas Motivational Videos. This guy knew his shit. He was homeless for two years and changed his life around and decided to become a public speaker. He said there were nights where he had no sleep, no money, hardly ate, but his goal was there in front of him.
His words is what kept me going to push through all the hardships I had been doing.

People always ask me about my up bringing and what life was like for me as a kid and I am openly honest about it. I hardly had a good up bringing. Life for me as a kid was horrible. Family addictions of gambling, lots of financial problems and still to this day dealing with that. Do I let that bring me down? Sometimes yes- when I have my moments. It is when I have these moments, I know deep down that, that's the moment I need to: REFRESH, RECHARGE and RESTART.

3 days before I leave for Hawaii, my car breaks down and my dad had another relapse. It was the perfect time to go away.

I encourage everyone to seriously, for a week, just disappear. Because we are all human, we need rest. We need time to actually sit back and look at our life and go: 'Ok what do I need to change?'
We become so involved in the world. Social media especially!!! I am shocking for it, because i live by it.

Before I left for Hawaii, my vocal coach told me to truly think what is important for you when you leave. My voice was having it's moments, some days were good- most days, my vocal cords were just sounding off and it all came down to a few simple things. Lifestyle, Rest, Work, Stress.

Being away, I actually SLEPT. Sounds like nothing major, but before in Sydney, I was lucky to have 4-5 hours sleep. In Hawaii, I was having 8-10 hours a day rest.
I was still keeping active, I was enjoying myself and I thought about my life and what I wanted to do. Naturally, I started to feel myself again for once. I didn't have to worry if my meals were prepped, if my bag was packed the night before, If I had studied, invoiced my last 3 jobs I did that week. I was in complete peace.
I believe that travelling does that for you. You find yourself so relaxed, your enjoying the people around you, the culture, the atmosphere, the night sky was beautiful and you could soak up everything around you, without taking life for granted.

Free yourself from the world, let yourself go!

Now I am going to get a little fiery. STOP MAKING EXCUSES TO TREAT YOURSELF. I literally only had $1500 when I went to Hawaii. Because I paid off my debt, college fees, bills and rent just before I left.
I am probably more broke now, but I am feeling like a different person. I don't care that I have to sort out my completely wrecked car that is about to die on me. SHIT HAPPENS, but I am still standing, I am alive and healthy and everything eventually works itself out.
I have about 3 assessments due, a lot of catching up to do at college YET I know I can manage.
I have too many amazing people in my life who are supportive and are there for me.
I am aware life at home is not good, but I have to stay strong and keep moving forward.

I would rather own little and see the world than see little of it.

Take this as a sign please- If your finding yourself:
 1.Having random outbursts to strangers.
2. Punching walls for no reason
3. Getting angry at the coffee shop man for forgetting to make your coffee warm and not COLD
4. Forgetting to wear undies
 5. Misplacing your keys then finding them in odd spots.
6. Wearing odd socks
7. Having road rage for small mistakes
8. Crying over silly things that you would never cry about.
9. Punching a sibbling
10. Look like you have big fat puffy panda eyes.
Please...
TAKE
A
FRIKEN
VACATION

Reward yourself
Refresh yourself
Recharge your body, fuel it up with whatever you need to do.
Come back, kick open the front door, give life the finger and literally
RESTART.

Love Tam xx

Untitled

In the past few weeks, through various incidents that have happened in the media and in mutual friends life, I have been questioning a particular topic, that a lot of people steer away from. That or people find these topics too touchy, personal and upsetting. I couldn't agree more with them. I even struggled to put a title to my blog as I didn't know how to word it. Since the sudden death of Charlotte Dawson, an Australian Icon, who struggled for so long with depression in her life, who yet was so successful and many people looked up to, hung herself on the 23rd February 2014.

With much sadness to mention this as well, my brothers friend recently tried to kill himself too. He jumped off an apartment building, broke his back, all his limbs, legs and feet,  is now in a wheelchair and will never walk again. When I met my brothers friend in the past before, I thought this kid was the sweetest person ever. He was one of the few friends I liked of my brother. To hear this, I can't help to think; Why? The worst part was, he portrayed himself as someone who was happy yet quiet but I just wouldn't expect it.
A few of my family members suffer from Depression. It is a common thing. 1 in 4 Australians will or have suffered from Depression and still have it. The scary thought is, how far the mind can go, when someone reaches that lowness in their life, where they just can't go on with life anymore.
Research says that every year in the world, 1 MILLION people commit suicide.

I have never spoken about this to anyone, to be honest I am still coming to terms to why this person did this. A few years ago, when I was working at a clothing store, I had a good friend who worked with me there named Josh. Josh was your class clown, loud, confident, full of energy and he was everybody's friend. He was also a church boy. He went to youth group every Friday night religiously. Josh had one best friend. His best friend was Timmy. Timmy was probably the most caring, nicest human being on the planet. Words cannot explain how nice he was. I think I am a nice person but Timmy was someone that would do anything for anyone. Including me. The first time I met Timmy was when he was visiting Josh at work and you would know when Timmy was coming to visit. This energy would just automatically lift as soon as he came in. He was the happiest kid ever and when I was having a shocking day at work, he would come in and I would instantly feel better. He was one of those people that would just know how to make your day amazing.
Timmy would always persist me to come to Youth Group.
Timmy: Your coming this Friday aren't you Tam?
Me: No I can't I have .. something on (always made an excuse.)
Timmy: You HAVE to come one day, promise me you will, you will thank me the day you do come.

I had always been raised as a Christian, but over the years when my mum and dad got divorced when I was 15, the church disowned us because of this, and throughout my years I slowly disconnected myself with God, stopped going to church, stopped believing.
I only realised this now, but when I was 18 till about 21years old, I was not a happy person. I was quite miserable and I couldn't connect the dots as to why.
One day at work, Timmy brought in this guy who was a pastor of a church in Melbourne, who was preaching at their Youth group on Friday. Timmy tried asking me again about going to Youth Group.
His friend Ben then stepped in."Why can't you go?"
I felt myself, wanting to lie but I couldn't and i just said: "I am scared."
Ben: If I get up on that stage tonight and I don't see your face in the crowd, I will not preach.
Well, you can imagine the pressure I felt after he said that. I felt like saying FY(U#()*U$O to you, mr gorgeous Ben man, who I couldn't say no to.
In the end, I rocked up, i had the best time, Timmy and Josh were both there and from that incident, I found myself believing in God again.
But that's not the story I am trying to tell. Since that day, Timmy, every now and then started to call me, very randomly. Asking me to come to youth again, wanted to hang out. I even would get the odd phone calls in the middle of the night and it was as if he wanted to talk for hours, or say something in particular and I couldn't figure out at the time what it was. I was certain he wasn't drunk. He was training to be a Pastor. He was 110% Christian, read the bible every night, loved God, type of person. He literally in my eyes, was an angel, there was not one bad thing about him.

I noticed one week, Josh wasn't at work, I must've thought he was at Youth Camp or something. The week after when he was finally at work, I asked him where he had been and he said he was at a funeral.
Me: Who's funeral?
Josh: Timmy's.
Me: What!? how? What happened?
Josh: You see, Timmy was very sick and he decided to take his life.

I just didn't understand, I was so shocked, i nearly fell over. That's when all the phone calls had started to piece together to me. I didn't even see the signs. How can someone that was so loving, so dedicated to God, who beamed so much positivity and happiness, just decides to give their life up?
It made me realise that some people might be the most happiest people on the planet, or they want you to believe that, maybe they even want to believe that themselves, but deep down, their depression takes them to the lowest point until they give up on themselves and give up on life.
This blog, I wanted to dedicate it, to Timmy and to everyone that has experienced something as horrific as that. Josh from then on continued to work somewhere else, moved areas and last I heard he was still working somewhere near the beach and doing Personal training.
I take my hat off to anyone who knows someone close that had that happen to them. You are such strong individuals. I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart. I look up to my step dad who found his dad as a kid in the bathroom shower. He's someone who worked so hard in his life and is a successful person and has the best heart.
My point is, or what I am trying to get at is, a simple smile, a compliment, or a kind gesture can change someones life. It can make a bad day turn to good. I have been more weary now of what I say to people especially these days when you don't know what the individual is going through. This blog is just to make us more aware of how common suicides are in the world, even in Australia.

I will never forget Timmy, he changed me life, without him even knowing. I pray for him and his family everyday. I am always thinking of you and still see you in my dreams smiling. I know you are in a better place.

Tam xx

Choosing your passion over your priority

Like all my experiences in life, whether good or bad, there is always a hindering lesson learnt or a moment of reflection and realisation. The fact that this situation happened to me a few weeks ago, still makes me think that either people out there in the industry can be completely diluted OR they are simply just fruit loops.

I was going to meet a director for a role I was being considered in a play. It was a Tuesday night, I had just finished teaching my students. I quickly got ready in the car to then head to Newtown where I was meeting him.
I arrived at the venue of the theatre, (I was early) and by now it was about 9:15pm. I met him at 9:30pm where we waited for the other actors to come. In that time we were waiting for the other actors, I started getting a grasp of what type of person he was, or He/she was, for that matter. He was a cross-dresser. I have nothing against cross-dressers, but I believe by that he was already an interesting character. It felt like we had listened to him speak for a good hour about his life experience, his views on life and how a few years ago he had met Nelson Mandela. To this day I still don't know if this is true, but I will go back to that point in just a sec.
By 10:45pm, (YES ON A SCHOOL NIGHT) we had finally gone to a bar, to chat about the play, I was exhausted at this point, and I was starting to get a really weird vibe from the director and how he spoke only about him and who he's met, and who he knows in the industry and how HE has a name out there.. bla bla bla. At that point I didn't care. One thing that struck a cord to me, was that he said. "If you want to be an actor, then your priorities come second. The only reason you should ever miss a rehearsal, is if it's a funeral.. your funeral."
He kept asking me, how passionate am I as an actor. "What would you do to be an actor?" At that point I felt like saying, well I've come here to listen to you go on about gob smack all, but i smiled politely and said 'anything.'
...moment of thought
I said anything?
Would I really do anything for my passion? I began to question my answer.
I went home that night feeling so weird. I just met a director, whos a cross-dresser, who met Nelson Mandela, who talks a lot about himself, who thought I was brilliant, but also asked if I was really passionate about my career? I added him on Facebook to suss him out.

The next few days, we were all getting texts about rehearsal days and how they were compulsory due to the time limit we had and of course they all fell into night time, during when I mostly work. Before I signed up to doing the role, the director had mentioned rehearsals would be in the day, hence why I signed up.
I texted back saying the days I couldn't do and then all hell let loose.
Long story cut short, he abused me in messages and ALSO abused me on Facebook. Which brings me to my story of him being a fruit loop, highly unprofessional and I am almost certain he was a compulsive liar.

I was worried however, I started to doubt myself and my love to the industry as a dancer and as an actor. He claimed that I wasn't a true professional actor, that I didn't bend over backwards for my love for the arts and that I would never be working again in this industry. Thank God, I spoke to my acting teacher and he made me realise that people like him, who share the world everything he "claims" he does and puts people down on Facebook and talks about nothing other than himself are people who aren't all there. Still do I pick my priority over my passion? Luckily that day, I was speaking to a good friend on the phone and the advice he gave me was: "The best thing for you to do, is to survive." "Every famous actor, had to live and put food on the table and pay for rent." "When you are hungry for your passion you will do whatever it takes to make it, BUT you have to live as well."

I thought of all the times, I had sweated blood for my career, cried so many tears, gone and changed my look, missed work for an audition, paid so much money for courses, worked a million and one jobs for the love I have for what I do. DO i regret it at all? Absolutely NOT. I wouldn't be the person I am today If i didn't give it my all and failed 10 x to only become the better performer I am today.
I've encountered and met so many people that have pushed me to continue everything I do now.
I know that priority for me is important, but my priority IS my passion. I do everything now, for my passion.
I teach kids every Tuesday night- for my passion- to give them advice and help them with their love for dance.
I go to my singing lessons every Wednesday night- for my passion.
I work 3 jobs nearly 7 days a week- FOR my passion
I go to the gym and put myself through mega hard diets- FOR my passion
I am doing PT - for my passion

The list will go on. Back to my question of doing anything for my career. I would rather be the person who would work so hard for what I have always dreamed of having. I have never had everything handed to me on a plate, so I know when that big break does come, it'll be worth all the years of struggle and pain I have gone through- for that feeling of achieving something so great. Being a winner, a success and an inspiration.

To the director that has put me down on the net, at the end of the day, I don't want to reflect anything you have said about me, or the actions you have undergone to talking about someone in the abusive way you have done. I will be the bigger person and let it be as what it is, but for everyone else out there who has ever not felt right about a situation, or questioned an opportunity that has come along and it hadn't felt right, listen to that little voice in your head, chances are, you will know whether or not it is the right thing for you. Maybe not right now, but somewhere down the track an even GREATER opportunity will come for you. Just keep thinking of the big picture and don't stop chasing your dream. Happiness is more important and money can't buy happiness.

Tamxx

My 'WTF' moment that nearly bit me in the ass

For those who don't know me very well, If i was to count how many WTF moments I had last year, I could seriously write a book on it, with a title screaming: 'Tam's WTF moments of 2013' or 'WTF' Just Happened?'
My stories, or 'sticky situations' sometimes funny or rather random, has become a pattern that now everytime I go into my room mates room, and say: 'Holly... I have to tell you something.." She instantly gives me a look of, what did you do now Tam.. Or even when I say to her: "Holly, I think 'so and so', is going to be here tonight." She'll look at me and go, "that is highly unlikely that, THAT person would be at the SAME vicinity as you!" Lo and behold- that person is awkwardly at the same vicinity as me, of all places.
As of this year, 2014, I have already had my fair share of.. WHAT the 'F##$%^&(!&@$' just happened? moments. My beautiful friend Ash, has now started calling me every morning to ask for a 24 hour update on what has occurred in my life. Truth be told, I may just be attracting these situations, mind you, not all are bad, most of them are just funny and just completely unexpected, but as my mum has told me since I was young, "You just seem to always be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

The story I am going to tell you today, happened a few days ago. A story that has taught me SO much, that I am still shocked at how I behaved. If you never believed in karma, well maybe after this story YOU WILL.


Everyone knows that in a nutshell, I am a pretty nice person. It's one of my great strengths but also a lot of people take advantage on it. I've always believed if you do something nice for someone, or give back to the world, you will always be happy and life will always reward you. Everyone also knows that I am big on social media. Wow I admitted to that, which apparently I am slightly addicted to, but thats not the point. I post quotes, pictures, articles, blogs and my daily activity quite regularly in a day, as It's what I do and I know that, as a performer, I have something going on all the time and I want to share that with my followers. Simple as that.
I have rarely EVER written something negative on my status, or can recall the last time I posted a complaint or wrote something bad about someone. Though, I do post random situations I am in, or will post something rather funny as I think I am quite the comedian. (not really)
Last Friday, I posted a status about an encounter I had with someone in the lift, I won't quote word for word what I wrote, but it went a long the lines of: 'Stuck in lift, with a lesbian, who left a note a few years ago on my car window saying if I liked girls to call this number.' At the time, I thought It was just a joke, I had taken a simple situation that occured in my life and posted it for everyone to see. Not a big deal right? WRONG
The following week, I was going to Yoga and as I was about to get into the lift, the lady I had posted the status about, was in the lift going down, with a big muscley guy. You can imagine what happened next. Or what I thought was going to happen next. I am not going to pretend that I wasn't scared, but I was. I instantly felt guilt run through my body and I instantly knew something was about to bite me in the ass. Long story cut short, she found out what I had posted on FB, it all traced back to me, she was told that she should sue me for Defamation and also told me, she isn't a lesbian and that the guy she was with is her husband.
I am just going to give you a moment to just take this all in. As you can imagine HOW PATHETIC and BAD i felt... here you go....

I admitted to everything, I was honest and upfront, told her what I said and why I said it. The fact of the matter is: My intention was not to put someone down, but I did, that day. I made a joke publicly. I judged a book by its cover and the universe said: "Hey Tam, that was a bit out of character of you, no worries we are going to teach you a lesson." It truly did. I apologised PROFUSELY.
Can you see what the lesson was here? I see a few lessons:
1. Don't ever talk bad about someone on social media, OR EVER IN LIFE.
2. Don't judge a book by its cover
3. BE HONEST no matter if it is going to make you look bad, the fact that I told her the truth, probably made the situation better.
4. You know that quote you see where it says: "Be kind to everyone, For everyone is fighting a hard battle." (Enough said)
5. Your life doesn't have to always be shared to the world.

At the end of the day, I can't dwell on my mistakes, but I can learn from it, and move forward. A nice person like me, who decides to go out of character for that split second for attention, will never go down well. Has that ever happened to you, when you've done something and Karma teaches you a lesson?
I am quite grateful at as it could've been worse. Sure my dignity has gone out the window and I am now constantly going to be nervous getting into my lift in my apartment building, however whats done is done, hopefully one day we can all laugh about it and get along.
So as advice from me, BE NICE TO EVERYONE. Not shitting you, as Bob Marley has quoted: Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold."
Don't do something just for attention, or to make someone laugh, by putting people down, you're better than that. Seriously...

Enjoy
Tam xx

Does travelling change you?

I was sitting in a cafe in Cairns with my little brother and my dad a few weeks ago. Our mouths had dropped to the floor as we shockingly couldn't believe what our dad had just told us.
My brother and I live together with my best friend, and every few months we will visit dad, go to Brisbane to where he lives and spend time with him but this time we decided to spend Christmas with each other up in Cairns.
*Conversations a few months back on the phone
Dad: I have so much to tell you about my trip.
Me: Well just tell me now
Dad: This will have to wait when I see you and Rolf in person.

I didn't know then that his story would be causing me to nearly choke on my wine whilst nearly falling backwards from my chair and causing a scene.
The type of person my dad is, is a typical European man. That's a bit of a broad statement. Let me rephrase. My dad does not get out much. Why? Because he is a work-a-holic. He works day in and day out, even on Sundays. When his mother had recently had a mini stroke, it triggered him to go and visit her in Munich. I was more than happy for him to travel, I was over- the moon for him but seeing his mother and spending two weeks with her, I was a little worried it would give him a mini stroke but nether the less, he went for 2 weeks and it had literally changed him.

As my brother and I got to the airport in Cairns, we see our father from a far. As soon as he saw us, he got up from his seat, not walked but RAN up to us and gave us the most biggest hug in the world. Was not expecting that.

I bet your waiting to hear what the story was? Well remember how I told you, that if my dad went to Munich to visit his mother, it would probably cause him to go a little crazy? Let's just say, because of this he spent the days with her and the nights he would venture out on his own.

It was during Oktoberfest my dad was travelling. I was so proud to hear he was going out and meeting people (which my dad never does.) I would be flicking through photos and each photo he had a story of each individual or couple, young or old- and each story he would get more excited and happy about, I could hear it in his voice.
His second last night, was like a wake up call or triggered something in him. As my dad was dancing up on the tables (take a moment to picture a 55year old man dancing on a table in front of 100s of people) he must've twisted weirdly he said and all of the sudden he had fallen on the floor and in the process completely punched a girl in the face. The lady started yelling at him: "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT, I AM GOING TO TELL THE POLICE." Next minute my dad is "arrested" by these guards, hand cuffed and taken to the police station. He said he had never lost his temper so much in his life. From 8pm till midnight they kept him in. "I had said some pretty horrific stuff." "I want a lawyer, you can't lock me up, I haven't been drinking much."
Apparently, in Europe, you can get so called arrested for being drunk and disordelly but their a different type of police, more like security, therefore you can't get release off bail or get a lawyer.
Now before you all go judging, my dad would never hurt a fly!! He doesn't beat up women or anything. But this night, or infact this incident and trip had changed him.

As much as he had a shocking night, it was dangerous, thrilling, exciting and out of his comfort zone. He realised for so many years how uptight and tunnel-visioned he got from work. My dad and I were never close when I was growing up but I am finding that I am becoming closer to him now than ever.
I believe travelling changed him. Made him appreciate what he has at home and realised that he was refreshed, needed a new start and was more inspired to do stuff out of the ordinary.
Don't believe me?
I called my dad the other day and he answered the phone with: "Hello my favourite daughter."
Me: Oh.. umm hi dad.. what are you doing?
Dad: I am just in the middle of kickboxing, can I call you back?

EXAMPLE B:
Dad: So I met a lady on the plane today.
Me: Serious! Wow that's so exciting dad, did you get her number?
Dad: I did, I want to take her on a date, not sure where though

I believe travelling does change you. I used to not have a relationship with my dad, in-fact, it was only 2 years ago we slowly started to connect, due to different reasons. Now I can admit for the first time how much i appreciate and love my dad. I am not trying to say you should force your parents to travel, visit strip joints, smoke weed and go nuts and YOLO it up.
I am merely saying this: If you have been wanting to do something for a while and you've always had an excuse, or have been afraid, just take that step and do it. Sometimes the answer is in front of you, but we are blinded by the ritual of everyday life. Work, Social life, Work... work.. So just get out there and do something out of the ordinary. It could bring out something in you, you didn't think you had.

Tam xx